| I am gemini lady. i met a virgo man
online and we emailed each other a
few times and have chatted a few
times before we met in person.
during this period, he was overall
taking his initiative in contacting
me and asking me out to meet up.
we met up for dinner and it was a
very pleasant evening. the third
day after our first meeting up, he
invited me to join him to his good
friend’s party. there and then he
introduced me to his close gang of
friends. it turned out to be still
very good. the following days we
sms each other. weekend, he sms me
asked for meeting up but i
couldn’t make it because i had to
work. the second week, we decided
to go for a movie and it was good
too. the third week we went for
another movie, and while waiting
for the movie, he bought me a small
piglet gift when he knew i was born
in the year of pig. all these
meetings, we had very pleasant chat
about different topics, culture,
traveling, history, politics, and
even each other’s families. he
even told me about his brother’s
sad story of having some incurable
disease.
during these few weeks, from our
meetings, and chats, i built up my
respect and trust at him. he is a
humble guy, very hard working,
successful, knowledgeable, caring,
and has a big kid heart. he was
very loyal and good to his friends
and very responsible towards his
clients. i had very good impression
on him overall. during these weeks,
he would send me sms telling me
about his activities and checking
how i was doing.
but the third weekend, he sms me on
friday yet i was at work and
couldn’t reply. by the time i
found out, it was about 11pm . and
that evening actually i had a
difficult case, a lady died from
some heart problem with still a 4
month babe, we couldn’t save her,
and i had my tears all the way home
after i walked out of hospital
building at 10pm. so when i was
home and found his sms, i was
touched. so i emailed him that what
happened to my evening work and
shared with him my sadness about
this event. then i mentioned that
he was a very nice person and my
impression about him.
that satuday he didn’t sms me.
sunday i received email from him,
saying that he felt i was too early
and too much emotionally evolved
regarding his personality, he said
he enjoyed very much going out with
me, he liked me “kind, humble,
well educated and pretty” but he
felt we should slow down and cool
down, and if to meet up should
still just be friend. i was shocked
by his reply, because i didn’t
feel i was trying to impress him or
trying to tell him that i loved
him. i wrote that email simply out
of my mind there and then to a good
friend. but i still replied him
that i thanked for his reminder and
i also agreed that we should still
meet as friend, and not into
anything in rush.
then he replied saying that he had
his bad experience and also
experience from his friend that
some girls would refuse to let go
after break up, and did something
very aggressive, he hoped i would
not be like that. he said he
didn’t want to hurt me any more.
i was even more shocked but
thinking maybe he was hurt and
scared by those experiences. i was
wondering when he hurt me. i was
even more shocked but thinking
maybe he was hurt and scared by
those experiences. i replied that i
felt sorry for the bad experience
he and his friend had, and i also
hold that any feelings should not
be pushed or forced. then he
replied that, we still could meet
up for a coffee, or some food one
of these days.
i have never encountered a
situation like that before. i felt
we should meet up and clear the
misunderstanding. so i replied i
agreed and suggest if he would be
convenient to meet up the following
week. but he never replied.
i felt it was getting more and more
serious and i tried to send him sms
about once a week and he still
replied politely. after one week, i
tried to invite him to join me to a
book affair, he didn’t reply to
my email. and after two days i sent
him sms some simple greetings. he
replied, said he had been busy and
he was going to japan for 10 days.
i just replied politely.
we didn’t contact during that 10
days. till he came back from japan
, i was online, and he came online,
he didn’t greet me, i said hello
to him, then we started chat a bit
about his japan trip. but no more
than that. that week we only
chatted on msn twice and each time
i was the one to start the chat.
and 5 days later he told me he was
going to laos alone for another 5
days for holiday. he would be back
on christmas only. so there was
another 5 days, during his laos
traveling, we chatted once or twice
on msn when he came on net and he
was excited to tell me things about
laos . he sent me christmas
greeting message by phone. that
evening, i went for my holiday with
my female friend for 5 days. i told
him about that too.
and when i came back from holiday
we chatted once pleasantly on msn.
he asked how my trip was. the
following day, the last day of
2007. i forwarded to him a phone
message joke from a friend, “i am
sorry our relationship is going to
end soon, and i will never come
back to your life any more even if
you wanted. yours faithful,
2007.” he responded “ i feel
very sorry too, because you showed
your emotions early in our
beginning of friendship, that is
why i stopped seeing you. have very
good new year 2008”. i was
shocked, so i replied an email to
him. i said i didn’t know he
would be so sensitive and serious.
then i said i although i had good
impressions about him from the
meetings, but it would not be
enough for me to come to a
conclusion about a person. i said i
respected him very much and still
thought he was a good person. i
said i would not disturb him any
more if he didn’t like.
then he replied briefly said, he
couldn’t enjoy the fun in that
message. he said, he didn’t like
the behavior and style. i sent back
an email telling him that i felt
sorry about my few emails to him. i
said i had been trying to distant
myself from my feelings about him.
i said he had been on my mind often
and i for the first time felt it
was something quite new to me. (it
was true that i have never felt so
much about a person like him
before). i said i had been behave
in a way i myself also felt strange
and a bit uneasy too. and i felt my
emails might have disturbed him and
troubled him which i would never
wanted in a way. so i have decided
to cool down and get back to my own
self and find out what is happening
to me and what i really wanted.
then i said i wished him to take
good care of himself, not working
too hard, taking good of his
stomach( i noticed he was quite
particular about food but he still
missed his meal here and there),
and safe driving ( i felt he was a
bit careless when he was driving
sometimes). and wished him a happy
new year ahead.
after two days in new year day 2,
he replied me with an email as
following:
thank you very much for your
e-mails and also for your honest
replies.
i feel a bit guilt, that i was very
reserved to you during the last
weeks and reacted in case of your
sms on sunday quiet harsh and even
unfair. this made me sad, because
i find that you are a very kind and
charming person, who i enjoyed
meeting, but who tries to push me
into her life without understanding
that i withdraw more and more with
each attempt.
sorry, i did not know anymore, how
to prevent you from sending me
many, extremely long e-mails, which
were so well written in perfect
english but just telling me
“funny" stories about our
innocent friendship and praising
and making me compliments so many
times. never ever in my life,
somebody said so often without any
reason “sorry” and “excuse”
to me. this let me feel very uneasy
and scared me off. after your last
e-mail, i feel much better, because
now, your behavior and writing is
not as contradicting anymore and i
don't feel like somebody wants
to trapp me in.
i didn’t want to reply, i was
almost in tears when i read it, i
felt we actually both were
understanding to each other, both
very kind person, but it has been
so difficult to get both connected
like this, and this was so
precious, i was happier than sad, i
was sad because i felt pain when i
read that he had been sad… i
didn’t want him to be unhappy and
troubled. i didn’t reply because
i felt i could only say, “thank
you for your reply and
understanding, i understand. “but
i didn’t think that would be a
proper email, so the following day
i replied something like this--
sorry i was not able to reply your
email yesterday as i was getting my
punishment --needed to prepare
presentation for today's
class, and i couldn't get the
pdf995 working...anyway, from now
on, my passion for writing about
daily life, little things, people,
and places will be mostly shifted
to boring essay, report and paper
writings...in order to survive, i
am thinking of picking up drawing
cartoons...
thank you very much for your email
and sharing. i guess i can
understand...i have been feeling
bad about myself these days. as for
the sunday sms, it was a fun and
joking sms, but it was not
appropriate to be sent to you, i
should have expected the
misunderstanding, and to top it
off, i commented you were
oversensitive...is there anyway i
can take back those words? too
late? i have been thinking about a
best way to punish myself, such as
eat four meals a day instead of 3
meals, no smile at all for one
day...not easy to find one..what
could you suggest?
he didn’t reply. after few days,
i tried to start chat as if nothing
happened before. and we had a few
times very pleasant chat last week
about religion, culture, history
and jokes. it was very nice
feelings. saturday evening on the
chat he even told me he was
checking houses whole day with
property agent, he wanted to buy a
house. all went quite happily, but
evening, i sent him an sms asked if
he was free to meet up for a drink.
he said he was on his way with
friends to a party.
the following day i saw the party
picture on his friend’s party
where he brought a girl as partner
to the party. it was almost the
same group of friends he brought me
to the party before. i felt a bit
sad but i was thinking maybe i
shouldn’t disturb him any more
since he has been seeing new girl.
i felt i have done a few things
wrong in this relationship. the
first one maybe was the sad email
from the event from work. the
second thing was the subsequent 3
long emails i sent to him in
different weeks telling something
not so related. i was trying to put
that we were still friends… but
it became something troubled him
and pressure to him from me. the
third thing was the new year
forwarded message cause
misunderstanding further, but that
was supposed to have been resolved
or buffered a bit after his honest
email in new year. the fourth one
was my reply to him trying to cheer
him up yet actually maybe make him
misunderstood as i was not so care
about his feelings. the last one
was my saturday message asked if he
would like to meet up. each time
after i regretted and i wanted to
show i was not somebody he even
myself didn’t like but ended up
it reflected worse and more his
misunderstanding about myself…
in my mind i wish we could continue
to meet up as friend, so we could
have chance to get to understand
each other better, by then if
nothing works out i would be more
acceptable for giving up. but no
matter what he is a good friend to
have, and to me it is not necessary
to be into a relationship, so long
if it is good normal friendship it
should be much better than the
situation now. that is why i have
been unable to settle my mind to
peace. one minute i feel i should
just let go, and stop contacting
him, wait till he contacts me if
not just let it be, just wish him
the best. another minute i was
thinking if i really care about
him, even just be friends on chat,
on msn, at least when he response
even out of politeness at least i
know he has been doing fine, maybe
that is the best way to care about
him, knowing he is doing fine, and
that is something i care about him
most, i want to know he is safe and
happy. and i wish to stay in his
life, even just as a friend. and
sometimes i also wish that maybe
one day he would feel better and
want to meet up again if i just
stay as a simple friend. but i
feel the air between us still not
so clear, to me i feel if we meet
up now, i would feel still quite
easy and i believe it could still
be pleasant. but i feel he is the
one worries and feel uneasy… i am
not sure he really doesn’t want
to even be friends, or he has
decided there is no way he wants
our relationship to become any
boyfriend or girl friend.
i don’t know what i should do
now… and because of this i
can’t settle myself down to focus
on my study too that makes me very
stressful on the other hand.
what would you suggest or advice i
should do now? should i stop
getting online when he is there, or
should i just force myself to
forget about him totally and let
go? should i just keep chatting to
him even if he is not the one
initiating the chat? or i shall
just continue online but don’t
initiate any chat on my part? and
if he never, i will just let it be?
or should i write a email ask what
he thinks about us? or?...
i have never been so desperate in
my life before. i think i love him,
but i understand we are not
necessary to be that relationship.
i want either a simple friendship
but just not the situation now.
grace the guy is not that into you so give it a break. now you are freaking me out. he is probably scare to talk to you because you are so much in love with him. give the guy some space he does not want to talk to you than leave him alone |
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