4 thousand billion

What is the amount of money spend in textbooks per years?

the average american spends $120.00 a year 4 uniforms 4 only 1 child.

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Take my son's list for kindergarten, they want two jumbo pencils with erasers and pencil sharpener. 2 boxes of 8 count jumbo crayons. 2 boxes kleenex, 1 box both quart size and gallon size ziplocks, 1 pair friskars brand scissors, 2 large erasers 1 completely clear zippered pensil bag, 2 large elmer glue, 1 pkg washable markers, 2 pkg construction paper size 9x12, on pkg construction paper 11x18, 2 pkg manilla paper, 1 school box, 1 container clorox wipes, $5.00 for art supplies. every year the school budget is printed in the newspaper and every year you see where teacher's make more money than my family does. our gym/history teacher made 90k last year. none of the teachers start with a salary less than 36k a year. they claim they make no money. the school gets bigger and bigger grants each year. yet they can't afford to place paper towels and clorox in the class rooms for teachers to use to clean with. i don't mind the scissors, glue, markers and crayons. but why must i buy a specific brand, when i can spend $1 to $2 less for something just as good. and why do they need 5 pkg total of colored paper. i could have picked up 2 boxes of 24 count crayons for 20 cents each, instead they want two $2.12 box of crayons. a box of 24 regular pencils for $1.50 vs a pkg of two jumbo pencils for $2.88. when i went to school. just because teachers make the dough to buy name brand products and the school is getting so cheap they cant buy paper towels and clorox does not mean that parents who barely make it by can afford it. i spent a total of a little over $300 on school supplies and clothes for both my children. their shoes cost $15 each. i got them 4 outfits. my sons shirts where $2.50 each his shorts where $3.00 each. my daughters outfits where off the 40% rack. the listed price was $4.50 for three and $8.00 for one, so they where cheaper than listed. needless to say out of the $300-odd dollars, less than $75 went to clothes. children are required to go to school even if parents cant affordit. if teachers 20 years ago could make it with a list of 7-10 items, then teachers today can do the same. it's not that i expect the teachers to provide the items. colored paper i'm fine with, but between colored and manilla paper his teacher asked for 5 packages total. the school should provide cleaning supplies. do i ask guests to my home to provide me with windex and oven cleaner? as for the ziplock bags...my daughters class asked for the boys to bring one size and girls the other size and there are 6 pre-k classes versus the 4 kindergarten classes. so what do they need 100 boxes of each gallon and pint size bags for in the kindergarten class? my point is, the lists get longer and more expensive each year. the teachers shouldnt have to pay out of pocket either. it is the school's duty as they recieve money for that reason. one of the biggest points im trying to make, is they dont need name brand. parents should have an option to buy the cheaper if they cant afford the other. take the 20 cents for a 24 box vs the $2.12 for a box of 8 jumbo senerio for example.

Congratulations on your bargains! Get what best suits your budget. Did you know that most of the supplies that teachers require their students to purchase never gets used! I would wait a week or two before purchasing anything for your child. That will give you a better idea of what they will need and won't need. (I believe the jumbo crayons are for smaller hands). :o)

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Ok, long time ago - i had a child. the father was not in the picture. 1 year later when he decided he wanted to be a father he took me to court. he was on social security and disability payments due to diabetes. so when we went to court i got barely anything for child support. i mean less than what it cost to put the child in daycare weekly. so my lawyer advised me to go to the social security office and apply for benefits under him. i did that. they told me there that i would get about $1.00 a month due to the fact that he was "drawing the most he could" for his current wife and her 3 kids. so that was fine, i had my child added and they said if any more money became available my child would start receiving benefits. so then later the father decided he didnt want to be a father and signed his rights away. my child's last name was changed to my now husband's name and life went on. about 8 years ago i got a check from social security for $893.00 for my child's benefits and that included an underpayment where they had not paid her. i called the social security office and talked with a rep who told me it didnt matter that the biological father had signed rights away that my child could never be taken off his profile as a dependent child. i called back to talk to someone else and was told the same. my husband went up there with our court papers where he adopted her, her new social security card and all and sat down with a rep in our hometown office and was told the same. i called my lawyer who said do as they tell you. so we started using the money for my child's gymnastic fees, school clothes, etc. now the biological father has went back to work. keep in mind we have nothing to do with him and never talk to him at all. no social security has sent me a letter wanting to collect back the payments since he has been working which was august 2007. they wanted to collect the money within 30 days but of course i just dont have $3,000 lying around so i am having to appeal. do you think i stand a good chance of having this forgiven? me & my husband has just bought a house and basically we are strapped. it takes all we make to make ends meet and i cannot even picture adding another payment into the month. i have had to make copies of all our bills, our pay stubs, fill out a tremendous amount of paperwork. is there anything that may come to mind of any other's that i need to include? i need to have this taken off of us!!!! please help!

You have a good chance of not having to repay this money, at least not the bulk of it. The key is you did not know the child's bio father had gone back to work so you did nothing wrong. If you kept any after they notified you, you are vulnerable on that amount. You seem to be right on top of what you need to do. Hang in there.

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I would like to apologize in advance for this being so long. here it goes. me and my ex husband agreed on 51/49 custody (with me having 51 percent) when the divorce became final over a year ago (we've been separated for over 2 1/2 years). they used to spend one week with me and go to his house the following week. there was no child support involved. we agreed to split all costs in half with regard to our three children (sports fees, school lunches, clothes, etc). it worked out o.k. in the very beginning but now has become a royal pain. i end up shelling out the full amount and waiting for him to give me half back and then he tells my kids i'm always asking him for money!! in addition to that he works 12 hr. shifts (which means he has 3 days off one week and 4 days off the next) which wasn't too bad when we was working the day shift but now it's changed to nights (6pm-6am). with the kids going to school there is no way for him to watch them for more than 1 1/2 hrs. a day on the days he works (they get home from school at 3:30pm and he leaves to work at 4:45pm until the next morning), so i requested that instead of him having them all week that he only have them on his days off on his week with them. he does not want to agree to this and wants to keep them every other week even if they are only in daycare. i have them 80 percent of the time right now because as soon as he got served the paperwork that i was requesting a schedule change (back in may) he said the paperwork said 'pending hearing date'. i told him that it was not granted or ordered by the court yet and that i was requesting that the schedule change for when he goes to night shift (which just started in july). he dropped them off anyway, which was fine with me, but i've received no child support since then and my daycare expenses has doubled not to mention food costs etc. i can't really afford an attorney so i've been having everything done by a paralegal. my question is, when i go to court will it be pretty obvious that the change in parenting schedule is in the best interest of the children or does he have a case to keep them 49 percent of the time even if he's not home?? also please keep in mind his schedule can change every couple of months from night to days etc. so i am looking to provide a more stable routine for the kids (like they have during my week with them). i work 8:30-5:00 and am home every evening and weekends to help them with homework, etc. i thought it was pretty obvious that they should be in my care if he's not going to be available to care for them and thought he would agree to it but now he's fighting it because he doesn't want to pay any child support (we make about the same amount of money). any advice would be greatly appreciated. thanks! oh, my children are 8, 10 and 15 and i think he is expecting my 15 y/o to baby sit the little ones overnight! not a good idea since she's a boy crazy soon to be sophomore in high school. he does have a live-in girlfriend but she works nights too and goes to school.

Most states use the "best interests" of the child approach to decide whether a modification of child custody is appropriate. In your case, the fact that when the children are in his custody they are frequently left alone weighs in favor of you. His working long shifts when he is supposed to take care of the children suggests that they'd be better off in your care. This is hardly the only factor involved however, and as a lawyer, I have to suggest that you see someone locally. You do not want to leave something as important as child custody up to chance-find someone in your area to represent you.

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I understand in the long run having a child is very expensive, especially when they get to school age and need this and that and a car and college, etc. but i want to have a child in the next year or so. my husband is convinced that he's not having one until he's "financially stable" when in essence really isn't possible for most people. b/c he means he wants to have enough saved up for everything before we even have one... which unless you're a millionaire i don't believe is possible. so to start off, how much do you really need extra a month? we both make a pretty good amount of money for where we live. a crib, clothes, diapers, medicine, etc would be given to us to start off with by family members and friends... i know most people buy newborn and 1-3 month stuff for showers so i plan on, when i get pregnant, buying one thing of diapers every week that i'm pregnant and probably clothes as well. so with all of that in consideration how much do you think a couple needs to begin? the gimp- he does want a baby. he would have one now if he thought we had the money. he wants to spoil his child and give it everything he can. and i know it's a lot overall... i just meant an average per month for neccessary and unexpected things. but thanks for the input.

One thing that you can tell your husband is that if you are waiting until you are "financially ready" you never will be. As your income increases, usually so do your expenses. I can just let you know what my husband and I did. We did exactly what you suggested about the diapers, and currently have over 2,000 diapers waiting for our son (I am due basically any second now). I bought clothes at the end of each season based on what his size should be for next year. Our crib, which converts from a crib, to a toddler bed, to a day bed to a full size bed, cost about $350. I plan on breastfeeding, but we did get some formula just in case, but we didn't actually even pay for that. Similac, Nestlee, and another brand sent me full size free samples after creating a registry at Babies R Us. We bought a travel system instead of buying a car seat and stroller seperate, that was $200. I bought my bobby pillow off ebay, for $17 (included the pillow and 3 slip covers). My breastpump was a really good find, usually $300, I found it on a one-day sale for $150. Remember (especially if this pregnancy is planned) that you will have about 8 months from the time you KNOW you're pregnant to plan/pre-buy. I was overwhelmed at first, but I have been told by experienced mothers that I have WAY more than enough, and I have not had to buy anything since I was 6 1/2 months pregnant. If you space out your purchases you will be fine. I do not work (I am a student) and my husband just has a "regular" job. We are not poor, but we are not rolling in cash either. We have been absolutely fine financially and one thing you can do is if one of your income's covers your bills, you can put the other income into savings to create a cushion for when you are off of work. I hope this helped.

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Am i being unreasonable but i feel that my partners step son ( we are not married but live together with my young daughter and one on the way) is so spoilt and feel that my daugther and our forth coming child together are being neglected. when i met my other half my daugther (from a previous) was 7 months old. i worked extremly hard juggeling a business and raising a daughter from a failed relationship. i met d (the other half) through work. after a year together we realised that we were very much in love so i decided to move 200 miles away from my freinds and family to be with him. he had allways told me that he could never move because of his son. he had his son j every other weekend and twice every week. i know that the split from his wife left him very hurt and he loves the the time with his son even though i think his son can be very demanding. anyway, i rented out my house, moved up here with my daughter, we then bought a bigger house together etc and i thought i was fine. money can be tight but i have a very good job which is well paid, (we do work for the same company now but only see each other for aprox 40 mins a day and thats generally at lunch) recently i became pregnant and weighed up the thought of my now 2.5 year daughter having a sibling at home full time and for life. money will be a little tight say to speak for the first three years but we will be okay. my work has been very accomdating and allowing me to work 2 days from home (phew!) which allows costs to go down. anyway, i have shown him the figures of what we can and cant spend. i have never included his commission every month in these figures etc but things are a tight. he is - or at least should be aware of this by now. i dont spend any money on myself apart from a trim at the hair dressers every 6 - 8 weeks. to enable me to start working from home i have asked him for over 5 months to sort out the internet at the house because its in his name and nothing has been done. i then ended up sorting out the phone line myself and now the internet because i start these two days a week from home on 1st june. its for the good of him and his son anyway for me to work at home because it reduces his sons after school club costs on the two days a week that we have. it also reduces my daughters as well. anyway, he seems content on spending more money on further ice skating lessons for his sone which are £42.50 a go. hes bought him a pair of ice skates as well. not to mention the £240.00 a month maintenance he pays his ex wife per month. theres the constant trips to tesco buying him crap which apparently has come out of his birthday money.i hardly buy anything for my daughter apart from the necessary stuff like clothes etc which are required. i dont receice any money from her father. i have just decorated her room because she had a really ugly room and i am on at him to tell his son about our forth coming arrival. but still he does not say anything. i need to start decorating his sons room and the babys room. i get frustrated because on the weekends we dont have his son we do work on the house, we never do anything with my daughter. he will say - do something - but i am on the impression that we are supposed to be a family and we do things together. not just him and the son and then me and my daughter off doing our own things. however when his son comes over he goes off to clubs on saturday mornings and then off on sundays with his dad for skating. we never do anything for my daughter. i am worried that both i, my daughter ( who calls him daddy) and the new born are pushed aside to make way for his son which is not fair on his son or on us. i find that his son can be very rude, and back chats which i find rude as well. i have mentioned it a few times but recently i have started to hate the child. which is not his fault i understand. am i being unreasonable to expect my other half to treat everyone as equal. its not mine, my daughters or our new arrivals fault that he does not see his son every day. i understand that it must be difficault and alone time with your son is required but not to the extent where others feel left out. the constant spending of money of lessons for ice skating not to mention the £500.00 just spent on season tickets to ice hockey matches this year. it all just seems a bit stupid at the moment. hes just bought a new set of leathers for his bike - then he was looking at new helmets. i bought my daughter her first "adult" bed for £40.00 the other day from ebay. hardly pushing the boat out but i thought it best to get her out of the cot bed so that she did not feel that she was being pushed out by the new baby when it comes. i also bought a plastic chairs and table for outside for everyone to sit on from ebay. i try and do what is for the good of the family but now start to question if i am going mad, being perhaps selfish ? or is it that i need to sit down and tell him how i feel about his behav

First off, ice hockey tickets - that's got to go. I know he'd like to spend time with his son but you can have fun at the park for free. You can go to an arcade and play for 2 hours on ten dollars. And why can't he at least split skating lessons with his ex? It seems to me, don't take this the wrong way, your partner is not ready for a new family. He's still too attached to his old one. Talking about finances, it sometimes doesn't get through to people. But when you show them on paper, they tend to get it in a visual sense. Make a list of your expenses: Current family expenses (whatever you spend on your family), what he spends on his son/ex, and expenses you will need for the new baby. If he doesn't reason with you, you should probably leave him because he's not in a mental position to raise another child.

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What are the conditions of welfare in u.k? i really wanted to ask you this question because i’m italian and i’m pretty worried about the situation of my country. in italy, the situation, in general, is terrible for families and for young people so, i’m interested to the state of welfare in other countries just to compare different situations. i suppose you have already heard about the piles of rubbish in naples’ suburbia and in the city centre, i think you’ve already been reached by the piece of notice about the dioxin-pizza cheese or about the wine mixed with hydrochloric acid. are we alone to live a drama ( among industrialised countries ) in this period? sorry, but i’ve to say that there is no excuse for this drama, you shouldn’t believe to some italian’s trick. we shouldn’t feel ashamed but we must admit the truth and we must try to solve this problem. anyway other elements form this situation:1) in italy the taxation is high (about 44%) but the services are disorganised. sanity is guaranteed but its level is very low and it become lower and lower. it is not unusual to hear something about “ little boy died yesterday in hospital. the hospital hospitalized him but he was discharged with the diagnosis of indigestion…the boy died four hours later cause hemorrhagic shock.”. school is not a place where you can go to improve your knowledge without problems and, hard to admit, our current knowledge is the worst in europe in my opinion. the prices are the highest but the salaries are very low. since when the euro was introduced, the prices have been growing up, and they will probably continue.(before 1926,37 lire=1 euro; now 1926,37 lire=40 cent.) the families are worried because the salary cannot supply to bills (water, gas, energy), fuel for the car, prices, rent or loan. now, the banks are going to take possession of about 23% of loaned houses. some families are living outdoor, other people must to search something to eat among the bin near supermarkets ( a lot of people). an elderly takes an average pension of 800 euro (1257 )$ but the gas cost 100e, the water 100 e, the energy 200 e (following an optimistic vision)..and there is the taxation: how could a person live with dignity with 200 euro ( 314 $) ( without buying clothes and miscellaneous ) if the average cost o f a weekly shopping is 100 euro? in order to paint the complete situation i’ve to say that the average salary is 1700$ but it is completely used in about two weeks in a standard family ( mother, father, one child). the level of immigration is quickly improved and it sounds good for swedish one, but for italy it represents the disaster. no economy means no job, and no job means no money for italians and for foreign people. so, foreign people (and italians too) sometimes drive themselves crazy: they start to stole in houses but, often happens that the rubber comes killer. the government authorized the migration of 300.000 people from romania, albania, marocco and other countries without being worried about their jobs and houses. now, 300.000 people live as unlawful people, added to thousands of italians, that kill, stole, rape. i would like to continue in my writing but i don’ t want to finish in 2020…so i’ll stop writing whit a question: are you still convinced that italy is a beautiful country? and how is your country?

Oh Eric - I did not really know Italy was in such a bad state. I always think of it as beautiful, visited northern Italy many years ago as in Venice etc and do hope to return again. I live in UK in Scotland. At present all UK are feeling the pinch as food, petrol etc are all continually rising. There has been a noticiable difference to these items within the past 6 month. Although we are part of the UK Scotland now has it's own parliament and here we seem to be so much more ahead England. In Scotland students pay no tuition fees at university, we have free personal care for our elderly, my fathers is typical example of this being an old man of 90y yrs but 7 days a week he gets care 4 times a day, 7 days a week. He doesn't pay to get showered, dressed, meals made etc. He does pay a subsidised contribution if he requires his house cleaning or shopping done for him. This month we have just had the price of our medical prescriptions reduced and within the next few years they will be completely free. At present they are free to people with certain illnesses and those over 60 yrs. Everyone over 60 yrs in all UK receives a Heating Allowance in the Winter, it was £200 and has just risen to £250, you get more the older you get. Everyone over 60 gets free bus travel to anywhere in the whole of Scotland and reduced fares on other forms of public transport. When I read your posting I realise just how fortunate we are. I sincerely trust your country is soon much better.

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Ok. i keep trying to ask this w/out writing a book but it's hard. my lover of 6 years is in his 50s. i'm in my 30s. we have a wonderful relationship & an awesome, active sex life. we love each other. my lover has been married 2x. his 1st wife had 3 kids but then left him for someone else, and he married the second woman on the rebound. he and his second wife never got along it was a mistake. he could never make her happy. he had his vasectomy reversed thinking kids would make her happy, but after she had a boy and a girl things only got worse, so he left. the kids from the second marriage hated him for leaving. and, as you may imagine, when we started dating and became very close, they hated me. that was then. now his oldest daughter from the second marriage is 17, will turn 18 later this month. she's had probs since she became a teenager. she started doing drugs and sleeping around. she was put into a psych hospital and later put in a rehab school for 9 months (it cost 30,000k & was her mom's idea plus none of it was covered by health insurance b/c though it is a rehab it is classified as a "private school" to keep the child's records from being tainted). her father paid for her to have a $14000 truck on her 16th birthday which was subsequently totalled. most recently, she fell out of a tree drunk and broke a vertebrae & then "got physical" with her mother and that's when her mom called her dad & asked him to let her move in w/ him. now she's living with him. i moved out so we wouldn't be shacking up around her. she's stopped screwing everyone she meets so she has a boyfriend who her dad thinks is worthless (he's got a wrap she for burglary of occupied structure & his license is suspended but before he found that out he'd been driving her around), but at least he's one person even if he is 27 and she's turning 18 this month. her insurance, which is not full coverage is $300 a month, b/c she's had so many crashes and wreckless tickets. i personally think she should not have just been given a second car w/out showing some sort of initiative like getting a part time job. even if it is 10 hours a week. the next thing is she wears clothes that cut her crotch front and back, for which she gets sent home from school. recently her dad gave her a credit card for emergencies only, but she'd managed to wrack up $500 in expenses for nothing (fast food, gas station, cigarettes--yes, she smokes) in about 2 weeks. he had to cancel the card. he found that she has forged his name on saturday school notices. he let her have a beer or glass of wine once in a while in his presence so now she's started coming home from her weekend escapades with her wine coolers (she prefers them to beer-as if that's legal). he drinks beer & so do i, but mainly on the weekend when she's gone. her father & i happened to notice her myspace once when the computer was left on, and she's got on little jean shorts, a crop top is poking out her boobs (which are tiny) and is a full length photo she is tall and slender, but complains about her nose being crooked and huge (which she's right, but she can always change it as an adult if she wants to fix it--it's not the end of the world). her dad said that based on her promiscuity and her choice of clothing and her worship my body photos, he complains she thinks she's "hot ****" and if she won't get a job he worries she'll eventually turn to porn or stripping since she is so focused on her body rather than anything else in her life. her boyfriend is all about sex. her music about sex. her clothes about sex. but i defended her saying it was a phase, and i try to listen to her. i do her nails. i did like her but something's changed. i mentioned that i moved out so she could be w/ her dad w/out me around. i was happy to. but now that i see her manipulating her situation, i am mad, maybe a bit jealous, which i don't like even in myself. but she's living in what i knew as my home, and she's treating her father and me more disrespectful more just using us. the other day i went over with her father to walk our dog. we went for abt an hour then came back. she was laying on the couch watching maury w/ a sports bra and men's boxer shorts so thin and white i could see the color of her skin through them and they were rolled down to her pubic bone. way down. who the hell is that for? to irritate me? to make me jealous or feel disrespected or to question the appropriateness of what goes on there b/c it's totally inappropriate to dress like that in front of company & i only come over when she's there to cook them dinner, walk w/ him and the dog, or help with a project, or do her nails. i'm at my place during her school week, and if he and i drink a beer together, we do it w/out her at the pub. i was angry with her & him. enough is enough. he didn't notice it and said i was overreacting b/c she was at home & is comfortable around us. but see, i don't want her to feel that comfortable with me. it makes me uncomfortable. i

Her dad is to blame for her behavior. You need to take away anything she has that is a privilege. Like her car, her TV, all electronic equipment, ban computer access. She's had no discipline, and has even been taught 'do whatever you want and daddy will still give you anything.' If you can have the boyf charged with stat. rape, do it. And next time she's drinking underage, call the cops. Be 100% consistent with not tolerating the behavior.

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I think we should do a huge welfare reform!! go around and drug test every person over the age of 18 on welfare. if they pass they get to keep their money. if they fail. well that's to bad you lose your money your not spending it for shelter/clothes or food any ways. why should i be working 2 jobs while going to school full time. for losers to be smoking up/blowing things up their noes with free gov't money? by the way the us gov't spends 7 billion dollars a year on welfare. if we cut all these losers money. that would give the gov't so much more money! even those woman that are single parents...they get x amount of dollars per child. if i was smoking drugs i would lose my kids no matter how hard i was working why shouldn't they? i understand drug testing would cost so much money to start but in the end would save a millions. if you go to the drugs store. its only about $1 for a drug test. we are paying gov't employees to sit around as it is. why not when you come pick up your check you take this test in our bathrooms. 10while we were with you, we gave this order: “if anyone doesn't want to work, he shouldn't eat.” 2 thessalonians 3 agree or disagree??

I agree. Liberals will say it's 700 billion, but this money would help. If these people are broke, then they shouldn't be spending gov money on drugs - Great Point. Liberals don't want to cut any of there precision social programs - how else would Liberals get their votes? Liberals give away free stuff to get votes - simple as that.

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I have been with my fella for nearly 9 years, we have 2 kids 6 and 3. i work full time and my partner is the stay at home dad. it worked out better that way coz i could earn more money. the problem is i get very little say what we spend our money on. when it come to booking a holiday it take me weeks and arguments a plenty to book one (and i'm talking about 1 week in a carvan at haven once a year, we have never been abroad). he always says we can't afford it. i shop round for bargains all year, never buy expensive clothes, always accept hand me downs etc. he on the other hand drinks quite abit well about 4-8 cans every night, more at weekends and smokes. he won't eat normal food, just crisps, sandwiches and chinese from the takeaway, oh and pizza. he'll never try any of my foods i cook like lasagne (doesn like the mince!) the other thing is he never does much around the house, i mean he does take them to school, but when i'm on lates i do half of that and when on days i always pick them up from school, and other than that he does the clothes washing, and the pots. but he never takes the kids out, never does anything with them in the day, half term never does anything. the time is coming soon when he'll be able to go to work, when the youngest starts nursery, but everytime i talk about it he gets right *rse on and then starts to ignore me. he can be very nasty at times and plays on his xbox alot of the time. we don't drive and find it difficult to be able to afford to take the kids anywhere, i got some free cinema tickets the other week, but it still cost us £10 in travel and £5 on goodies, and i often feel guilty that i dont take them many places. i always get envious when i hear about other people taking their kids here and there or when i hear about other husbands doing diy or taking their kids swimming, its just something we'd (or he) would never do. i just think he doesn't like doing any family things and thats why its always like - we can't afford it when i want to go on holiday or someting or a day out - but yet theres always money for his beer xbox chinese etc. i dont know what to do. i know some people might say give him a ultimatum, but how, he'll just say f off or give me the silence treatment, then what? if i said get out he'd just say no and stay put, so....? i can't just leave myself coz if i did id have to lose my job to look after the kids which ive worked so hard to get where i am for the past 4 years. we have a joint bank account, but even if i took all my wages out he would just use the tax credit money and the child benefit money for his spends and i would end up paying for it anyways. oh what can i do?? please someone advise me? thanks for listening. xx thanks for your help so far, i kinda knew what kind of answers i would get, and you're right. i just dont know how to go about it. we have a joint mortgage and i could get different working pattern, but i get paid and extra 14% salary for workin shifts. i dont know why but i'd feel gulty about splitting the family up, i would alos feel emabrrassed informt of my family, i don't know why, just feel like im causing a fuss. maybe your right i am just scared to do it. he used to be so different, i wish it could be different, but i also dont want me to get to 45-50 (im 26 now) and feel like well that was shit, i missed all the good times bringing the kids up etc. babysitter are a little difficult to come by, my mum n dad both work still, and i often get the saying "well, you decided to have kids" .....groans

I agree with what most of the other members have written, and gave them thumbs up too. You created this by ignoring a growing problem. Time to draw a line, but you need to be well informed, don't go off half cocked. But first, reduce his allowance, he gets 15% from now on, another 45% goes into your PERSONAL account, and the balance is spent on bills etc. Any extra expenses come from his allowance, and your account, 50/50. Tell him if he pisses you off, you are gonna turf him out on his ear.