| Hello my name is gerald watson, i
am 15 years old, and my life has
been drastically changing ever
since i hit this age. my thought
have become more abstract to
explain to others, it is even
making it difficult as i write this
post. ever since about age 12 ive
always been enthralled by
spirituality, i read my bible in
class and discussed it with my
close friend david often. however
after my dad died when i was
thirteen i lost my faith in christ
and went on as an athiest, as an
athiest i felt a sense of
hoplessness and i often made others
feel bad, to make myself feel
better.
when i started 9th grade these
impulses reached an alltime high
for me, untill another friend of
mine introduced me to buddhisim,
and gave me a book to read called
"insight meditation- the
practice of freedom" as i read
i started meditating daily and for
the first time became more intune
with my emotions, i made it a daily
activity to analyze every single
emotion i felt and find its true
source, i dont know why i did this
the book didnt call for it, yet it
always made me calm and return to a
peaceful state where i could remain
until i felt another emotion to be
analyzed thus allowing me to retain
peace of mind. through this
practice i became intune with all
my emotions and i came to the
conclusion that all emotions i felt
merely stem from 2 main emotions
love and fear. does anyone else
share this view?
for example: i would feel sad at
times when my mom or other adults
would tell me what to do, i
analyzed this feeling to the root
cause i found as "fear of
being controlled"
example 2: i would feel a burst of
happyness when i helped a friend of
mine or did something good, i found
the root of this emotion was
"love of helping"
my story: on december 12 2008 i was
caught buying weed at school ( i
used it for meditation) when the
officer at my school put me in
cuffs i didnt panic, i let the
initial fear of getting introuble
phase through my body and pass, as
opposed to holding on to it and
keeping it in my subconsious mind.
i learned this ability through
constant insight meditation, and
analization of my emotions,after
getting put up for expulsion the
next 2 weeks of my life were spend
in constant deppression, it was a
depression that i thought i was
sound enought to combat, however i
couldnt, it was at this time i
beleive the dormant empath in me
was awakened. i wasnt just feeling
my own sadness, unaware i was
feeling the emotions from my mom,
and she is diagnosed with a
depression that has plauged her
mind for years. (could this be an
empathic ability?) i infer that the
reason i couldnt shake this
depression was because i was taking
on so many emotions from my family,
that i couldnt differ them from my
own, i can always control my own
emotions but i couldnt control and
stop the ones that surrounded me
because i am a completly different
person then them. in my depression,
i found myself taking hikes and
being outside more, i felt this
weird tranquility from nature, i
can only describe it as a
comforting blanket i could use to
cope with all the negative emotions
i was feeling, i felt at peace when
i was in nature and depressed at
home. when i finnaly got admitted
to an alternative school the
depression subsided and i was free
again. i felt as if it was a
godsend!
at this time i was still unaware of
what an empath was, however at my
new school i spread peace and love
to everyone i met,ive always never
had trouble making friends but it
was alot easier here, i felt as if
people were drawn to me, for
insight on there problems. i began
couseling the other students on how
they felt, and what got them sent
to this alternative program.
as a part of the alternative
program each student is assigned a
social worker, to help get us back
on the right track i suppose...
my social worker sent me to a rehab
program near where i lived. when
the time came and my mom took me to
the clinic i was told to wait in a
waiting area untill my assigned
counselor came for me. as i waited
i saw this poor looking woman who
appeared to be addicted to things
much worse then weed. i remember
being overcome by a overwhelming
mix of sadness and fear, i
struggled to find out where this
feeling came from i had nothing to
fear or be afraid of, i only felt
it when i looked at this woman. as
i kept waiting the lady began to
speak to a man sitting next to her,
she told him how her addiction to
crack had affected her baby and,
how she was doing rehab to get her
baby back. i felt another wave of
sadness in my body, at this time my
mind opened, and my dormant empath
had been awakened. i realized the
source of my sadness came from this
woman, i thought this was an
ability of my mind from reading all
the buddist texts i had read
earlier, but my gut told me it was
something far more radiant!
2 days later i was reasearching
psychology, and came across a link
named "spiritual healing"
i went with my intuition and
clicked it, it took me to a new
page with a list of couseling
I'm glad you're good at writing otherwise I wouldn't have been able to read all of that. :)
Well, from what I have read and analyzed you could either be sympathetic to others due to your past experiences, therefore making you draw to the conclusion you're an Empath because you have felt such emotions as this, or analyzed them through meditation and such, you're an Empath, or both.
Also upon reading this big.. uh piece of writing, I have to agree with Eustacia and suggest that you keep your mind on academics and your future for now, and if you do have spare time- then use that for meditation, reading, whatever you pleasure.
Being a teenager, a little younger than you, I know what it's like to be thrown into this somewhat awakening stage I guess you could call it.. Uhm as far as religion, I have (and yes I vaguely remember as a little girl asking my mother often to let me learn about Wicca) since I was around 6 been asking my mom to let me learn about Wicca, witchcraft, etc- Now that I'm older and she's more open to it, I have tons of books on it, herbal references, crystal references, etc..
The nature portion of Wicca, or the natural part of Wicca has been amazing to learn about and experience.. But as a high school student who is determined to have an outstanding successful future- I mainly learn about my academics and spend hours a day working, studying, thinking about school and my future because right now I understand that should be my priority in school..
I still occasionally read, meditate, do a blessing, or just incorporate mmm... magick in my life- but I pay attention to school overall.
I suggest you do the same, but you sound like an Empath to me- or just highly skilled in the patterns and emotions of the human mind and therefore have the ability to interpret others emotions through physical appearances, body language, etc..
Do your homework and work hard in school.
It'll pay off in the future and then you can become more religiously and spiritually involved.
EDIT: You know what.. Upon reading my answer- I feel it was a bit cold.. (Someone else disagreed with me as well I guess..) Religion and spirituality are very important to some people, and faith keeps them going. Keep working at improving you empathetic abilities and continue to observe emotions you experience and the emotions of others. |
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