| Basically, my dad is annoyingly
tight with his money when to comes
to buying stuff. whether it be a
new tv or house, he'll always
have an excuse. for the past 2
years he's had a job that has
paid £2000-£5000 a week although
he has recently been made
unemployment. but him being
unemployed right now shouldn't
even be an excuse for him to buy
stuff, for most people it would be,
but for him? no way. even when he
was earning thousands a week,
he'd dismiss buying anything,
saying "we can't afford
that" or "just wait a few
months, it'll go down in
price" which is complete
bulls*it. but he'll freely
spend on his relatives, like nieces
and nephews. like when we ever go
around my cousin's house,
he'll look to buy gifts on
each occasion. my other cousin who
recently finished his a levels got
straight as, straight away my dad
was saying how we should buy him a
£500 laptop. but if my mum asks
for a new toaster cos the old
one's just broken because
we've been using it for the
last 10 years? nooo. another
example of him spending on his
relatives is how he immediately
accepted to pay £1000 to my auntie
for her son to come to the uk.
yeah, that sounds reasonable right?
no. she's a f*cking parasite
who doesn't give a shit about
how she comes across to other
people, she'll just take take
take, even though she's well
off. anyhow, my cousin's fee
for ticket and college had already
been paid for and all my auntie
wanted was the money and my
dad's too bloody blind to see
this. my mum wouldn't usually
get annoyed at this but the thing
is, he's currently unemployed
so he can't just go around
throwing around money for nothing.
my mum only gave him £500 to give
to his sister and the look he gave
her was disgusting, like he wanted
to hit her. i just don't get
it, he's so blind when it
comes to his relatives.
they've been using him the
past 2 years cos of his income
where before that period no one
even talked to him. and now that
he's unemployed they're
still preying on him cos he's
not exactly saying no to their
demands. the job he did have was
prestigious and gained him a lot of
respect but he was still living in
a 2 bedroom terrace in an area of
the city where a lot of violent
crimes occur. also, he's still
got this shitty ford mondeo which
is about 10 years old. all his
friends and relatives are better
off, even though he's making
(well, made) a lot more money than
them. my mum kept telling him to
buy a house and car while he had
the money, but he kept saying no,
and i have no idea why. i mean why,
just why wouldn't you? you
know why? because he's lazy as
f*ck. even though his job was very
demanding, he was very good at it
and worked his ass off, but when it
comes to helping himself or his
family, he won't even lift his
pinky. he's terrible with
paperwork, just can't be
bothered to fill it out. i've
missed out on numerous benefits
that i'm entitled to because
of my disability but he just
refuses to fill out the forms. like
i've been discharged from
treatment for my disability because
he didn't bother calling to
notify them of not being able to
attend an appointment. every time i
bring it up he just makes an angry
face and don't say anything.
it's like he doesn't give
a s*it about us sometimes. oh and
also, when it comes to food,
he'll spend hundreds.
he'll spend without even
thinking about it. if i had said,
"come on dad lets go do
£300's worth of shopping at
asda" he wouldn't think
twice about it. so now you're
thinking he's obese right?
nope, he's perfectly average,
got a bit of a belly but
that's it. i just can't
figure him out. to give a recent
example of his cheapness, my mum is
trying to persuade him to buy a tv
for the extension room which was
made so me and brother didn't
interfere with my mum and
dad's leisure time. oh and,
this room was built 1 and a half
years ago and hasn't even got
a bloody chair in it yet! anyhow,
my dad's looking for the
cheapest option of tv which
completely pisses off my mum cos it
was only last week that he wanted
to dish out £1000 for absolutely
nothing. basically he wants to buy
a small tv for the room but
it'd only cost an £100 to buy
a better tv for the living room and
have the living room tv be moved
into the extension. but when i
mentioned this to him he says me
and my mum have to get a reality
check and that we can't afford
an £100 right now. wtf? he was
willing to throw away £1000 for
nothing last week and today
he's saying we can't
afford £100? oh, and i've
forgotten to mention how he had/has
a major gambling problem (i know i
should've mentioned this a lot
earlier). when he was making
thousands, he'd go out and at
least spunk a grand on gambling and
never actually make anything off
it. i mean, okay i'd get it if
you were hooked cos you're
making thousands off it, but if
you're completely s*it at it
why f*cking bother? i mean, in the
first year of attaining his
'good' job he at least
spent £50,000 on gambling! this is
the main thing that completely
pisses me off about him, he'll
gamble sh
sh*tloads, throw thousands at his
family and food but when it comes
to benefiting himself or his own
family, he'll act like
he's the poorest man in the
world. i know this has dragged out
and doesn't really have a
sense of direction, but i've
been holding this in for so long, i
just had to get it off my chest cos
there's no one i can talk to
about it.
how do i deal with him? our lives
don't seem to heading anywhere
and it's really causing some
'psychological' harm to
my mum. how do i get this through
to him?
@researcher
you don't understand, it
can't just be 'his'
money. my mum stayed home for the
first 12 years of my life to look
after me and my brother, so
obviously she has a say in how the
money's spent. and even if
she's about to spend money on
something she's saved up for
from her own income, he'd
still stop her from buying it and
threaten to hit her if she does.
you say it's an issue for the
adults? so it's not an issue
for my mum then?
@armone
i've tried, but it's
almost led to huge fights. my
dad's gets into a fit of rage
when i try bringing up stuff like
this and i'm not looking to
get a smack or have things taken
off me.
"To his family by spending lavishly
on them because..."
This doesn't sound fair. Unfortunately, life isn't fair. All the TV shows with happy endings and people doing the "right" thing to have the most friends and win the race are fake. faux. fake. Dad feels like he needs to "pretend" to his family by spending lavishly on them because it makes him feel better then those around him. He doesn't care how this hurts you or your mom because he knows he can rely on you or her no matter what so he takes advantage of that. He KNOWS that your mom loves him and that you will always love him so it doesn't matter if he pisses you off because you will just HAVE TO forgive. This kind of psychological mind game is common in "dadland" (where your father lives). I hope he can stop being selfish before it's too late. Also remember, your mom chose him. As far as I know, she could have chose to marry a different kind of man. You did not choose who you parents are, you just have to live with them. Take a look at the qualities that you don't like in them and make SURE you do not get involved with others like them. You will get older and gain some control over your life and then these kinds of choices will be your own. |
Advertisement 
0 
In 
